Hi Richter,
I have a step by step tutorial delivered by SAP, but cant upload it here. it worked fine for me when configuring automatic email notification, search for it in the solution manager space "Send_Mail_via_action"
and check this guide: http://www.sdn.sap.com/irj/scn/go/portal/prtroot/docs/library/uuid/606c449e-d2fa-2d10-04bf-d189d099c93c?QuickLink=index&overridelayout=true&49868865619665
Also check TX CRMD_ORDER_BP -> choose find ALL -> choose the incident you created and then check tab ACTIONS.. it will give you an indication of where the problem is.
Cheers
Jimmy